reflection

Let’s Talk: Time

Hey Guys!!

Are we really half way through May? *Well technically more than half.*
Am I the only one who feels like 2017 is zooming by?
It honestly feels like so much has happened and frightening to know that more is still to come.

Time is a funny subject.

“Everything takes time.”

“Time waits on no man.”

There are quotes which show you that time is limited and if you want to achieve something you need to start acting now. Then there are others which tell you to slow down, appreciate the current moment because good things take time.
Isn’t this some sort of contradiction? Continue reading “Let’s Talk: Time”

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Lifestyle

Let’s Talk: Relationships

Friendships…..Relationships….. Situationships……. I’m in a shipppp guys

 disney reactions pocahontas eyeroll roll eyes GIF

So besides my ‘Lessons learned from my Exes‘ post I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about relationships on here. Which by the way it doesn’t seem like I learned anything, but also because it’s a touchy/complicated thing for me.

However, Let’s talk! Continue reading “Let’s Talk: Relationships”

Lifestyle

Thursday Thoughts // Behind Closed Doors

Sometimes I feel like I’m living a double life, a lie, pretending to be someone I’m not. But, the crazy thing is I know who I want to be, it’s just different from what/whom people know me to be. I’ve mentioned this previously in my postΒ Who am I?, but it’s becoming quite prevalent in my thoughts lately.

Who am I lying to the most?

People on the outside or myself?

Will I ever feel complete if I continue this “double” life?

You’re probably wondering why not join the two? Show the outside people who I really am.

The judgement? That’s probably the biggest reason as to why not.

So do I continue this way or attempt to get over it?

Are you the same person behind closed doors as you are in front of them?

These are just a few of my thoughts, maybe a new series? Thursday Thoughts?

Stay Tuned
xoxo

 

Daily Prompts, Uncategorized

Here & Now

Damn Ali, back again with the discover challenges! Do ya’ll remember when that was a thing? All the “Damn Daniel” remarks etc. Anyways, it’s been awhile since I participated in a Daily Post Discover Challenge; I usually like these challenges because they push you to think about certain topics not just at surface level, but at depth. Continue reading “Here & Now”

reflection

Transition

As you get older you go through various transitions.
From primary school to high school,
high school to college,
college to university,
and finally university to adult life.

Each stage prepares you for the next, or at least that’s the idea.

I’m currently at the transition from university life to adult life and I’m barely coping.

At the previous levels it always took me awhile to adjust. In high school I never felt where I belonged until 3rd form (grade 9), and even then it was still a weird position. I had a group of friends which made it bearable, as well as the experience of going through high school. Then came college where everything began to change; first of all some of us attended different schools, then there was the fact where most of us were now attending a mixed school (girls and boys). P.s I went to an all girl’s high school, so that was another transition to get used to. The next big transition was from college to university; moving away from home, and meeting new people.

Definitely learned a lot of new things between that period, and throughout uni life.Β However, it’s now the biggest transition of my life—> the adult world. Honestly I don’t feel prepared or ready for it, and I’m definitely not handing it well. It’s been four months since I graduated, and I still haven’t found a job. This worries and scares me for various reasons. Thus, the last few weeks I’ve been frustrated and stressed resulting in little to no motivation/inspiration to blog. Everyone keeps saying “don’t worry about it”, “keep trying”, “your time will come” etc But i’m getting tired of waiting, and feeling like my life is going to waste.

Sigh. Transitions S U C K.

What are some ways you’ve dealt with your transitions? any advice? words of encouragement?

Daily Prompts, reflection

Remember this?

Have you ever wondered how far back in your life you can actually remember?

Maybe your 5th birthday?

Or just something you did when you were young or how life was?

Is it easy for you?

Or are you like me, where my first memories I can recall are from high school (age 10 up).

Don’t get me wrong I recall a few memories from primary school, but only of significant events. And they were usually negative in some way e.g embarrassing moments (there were a lot), getting teased/bullied, and maybe the one occasional good memory, but you get the point. They’re some people in my life which I can’t recall how we met or how our friendship were before now. Sad thing is I can’t even remember my primary school graduation.

I vaguely researched this topic about what’s the earliest age persons have memories from, and it was stated around 9/10.

Childhood/Infantile Amnesia.

However, I currently have a friend who remembers everything about her life growing up, dates included, well at least the year. I wonder how she does it every time, and what it would mean for her life later down. would she still recall each experience and when it happened? Or eventually as she gets older she’d recall less and less, and eventually all.

I know this is not the kind of thing to get jealous about, but I wish I could remember details of my life. Or maybe the ones she remembers are just like mine, a significant moment in time. Maybe you only remember memories where a certain event occurred or each memory has a trigger for you to remember it?

I can’t completely be upset at the fact that I can’t remember certain occasions, because thinking about it there are a lot of great memories that you do remember. Like the simple stuff you probably take for granted; the scent of a lover, something nice someone said to you or the way they made you feel. Imagine all the work your brain does to remind you of these things.

Strangely enough this topic has been on my mind for sometime. Maybe just the general idea of psychology interests me. Like how I’m interested in the way the earth operates i’m just curious about the way the brain operates.

In response to the Discovery Challenge “Memory

reflection

The Leap

I’ve finally decided to take the leap.

This may be the biggest decision of my life, but no turning back now.

I’ve been MIA for a bit because I’ve been going through a rough time. Basically I graduated college in December and I’m still unemployed. Yes, I know stuff like that doesn’t happen right away but seeing others who graduated with me already working, and seemingly have their life together makes it difficult for me. Another thing that had me down was the fact that I haven’t achieved any of my Β goals that I made for the previous months. It’s frustrating and has left me unmotivated and ready to give up.

However, with the advice of many and the push of my parents I decided to move from little ole Wichita Falls, Texas (my comfort zone) to a whole new state/city. Therefore, I’ve been busy packing and attempting to get things together. I’m still kind of bummed out but I’m trying my best to look forward to change, and hopefully new opportunities.

I’ll be back soon. xoxo

Wish me luck & stay tuned for updates on my new journey.

Lifestyle, reflection

Finding Faith

Growing up I was never the most religious person among my group of friends. Probably even the least. When ever a conversation came up with regards to the bible or famous stories or persons involved, I kindly turned the other way. I knew nothing of anything said, or could quote bible verses like the lot of them could. In all honesty I did feel ashamed, and always wanted to do something about it, but I never successfully put in the effort.

I shouldn’t say I was completely out of the loop, because I knew a couple scriptures like the ones they had us recite in school. Also, I attended confirmation class for a little while so i learned the names of the books, and a little bit from Genesis. Just to mention I never finished confirmation class, because our church kept switching pastors.Our high school also put on a program around Christmas to represent the birth of Jesus. Couple with the ten commandments, and the Noah built the ark story, I wasn’t that bad right?

My parents never forced us to do anything we didn’t want, they just weren’t the type even if that included going to church every Sunday. Now my only thing back in the day with going to church was the fact that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON (Service started at 8:00 a.m.) I simply cannot wake up early in the morning, and feel happy/wonderful and ready to conquer the world like some people. So we were never stressed for it, and we only went on special occasions or at least every other week. Another thing was sitting on those hard benches for so long keeps you distracted from what was being said. Simply put it didn’t hold my interests, and the people seemed fake. You would see them in Church on Sunday acting one way, then another during the week in the village. But that really wasn’t my concern or place to judge.

Over time I began to realize that you didn’t need to go to church to understand God or live a christian lifestyle. It was then that I began thinking do i even believe in a God? At first I was very skeptical about it, and sometimes even revisit these thoughts. But if there’s a higher power, a god that so loves us why is there also so much evil in the world? Sickness, death, war I couldn’t understand it. Skip forward a bit to when I started studying environmental science and learning how the world was made from a big bang; learning about atoms and particles, and evolution it really makes you question everything. Β So I was confused for awhile, but I still never picked up a bible to finish reading that side of the story.

From since then over the years my new resolution has been to begin reading the bible daily. Sadly, that hasn’t gone as planned. The only progress I’ve made was downloading the bible app on my phone and following some of their bible plans. See the thing is I never knew if I was supposed to read it like an actually book or if there was specific way on how. The internet wasn’t really my friend either, because I got overwhelmed.

Now, throughout university and my struggle to remain positive they’ve been various suggestions about praying on it, talking to God etc. One time I would start out doing it, and sometimes maybe something good would happen other times maybe not. So I would start believing maybe it was just a coincidence. I’ve been to church in the U.S. a few times, and every time I went I felt like the pastor was specifically talking to me. There always seem to be something I was going through that led me to church then there he was talking about that same situation. It can’t only be a coincidence right?

I have a job interview on Friday, and I really want it to go well because it’s the premise on which my future lies on more or less. (Maybe a little exaggeration, but I still would like the job). So I’ve been praying since I got the phone call in hopes of getting the job, but I feel like that’s wrong. That I’m only praying because I want something, and in some sort of messed up way that it’s not going to happen as a result. I don’t know i’m very confused, but they’re other times in which I pray just to give thanks and to bless my friends and family, so it should be okay, right?

I have faith, then I don’t the I do. Everything is so confusing.

reflection

Road to Happiness

What’s your definition of Fun?

According to Google “Fun” is defined as enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure.

Everyone loves to have fun, right?

I know I do. But I just haven’t been feeling like I’ve been having very much in awhile. I’m always dreaming about how I’m having fun with my friends, but never in reality.

  1. There’s not much to do here in this city; but I guess you should find your own fun, and make the best of it right? instead of complaining, huh (easier said than done).
  2. All anybody ever wants to do is party or drink. That can’t possibly be the only “fun” you can have. It also sucks if you have no-one else to have fun with.

So where does that leave me?

This generation is definitely different, or maybe it’s not the generation but the people I’ve decided to be around that changes things. I need something new in my life, new friends, new experience, maybe a new location. I’m afraid if i’m stuck in this funk any longer that I may lose my creativity spark.

I’ve fiddled with the idea of moving to Florida over the few months, but I just don’t know. Stepping out my comfort zone is a bit unnerving, but I think I eventually have to do it.

I don’t know what awaits, but hopefully I will find my way one day (sooner than later).